The End of the Road Essay
It all started to go downhill when my boyfriend started speaking to another girl behind my back, sending text messages and meeting up with her for a ‘chat’ as he used to say. I never believed anything he said. Neither did my friends or family. Why should we have? Before we got together he was known as a player and someone who continuously flirted with girls even if he had a girlfriend, but after we got together he toned it down and I thought he had changed.
I’m fed up with the way he is treating me, I know I deserve better. How did I know that the day I decided to confront him was the day I would never see him again? I decided to go to Daniel’s the morning after I had found out about the text messages to talk to him about it but when I got there he wasn’t there, so I asked his sister if she knew where he went, she told me he had told her that he was coming to mine, why would he lie about that? Especially to his sister.
Oh well he was probably going to mine and I was coming to his, I pushed the more likely scenarios to the back of my mind, I didn’t want to think about him and the other girl. After that I went back home secretly hoping I was right and Daniel was going to be at mine when I got home, but he wasn’t. So where was he? That night I had planned to go out with the girls, which would put me off he thought of Daniel for a few hours. So when the time came for the girls to come over I was getting excited and my mind was free of Daniel for the first time in the last 48 hours.
It was lovely to be away from the whole idea of Daniel sneaking around behind my back and to be with my girls, getting ready to go out on the town. It was 4am when I stumbled home from the club, I just wanted my bed but at the same time I wanted Daniel but then as usual I tried to push him to the back of my mind but it didn’t work I just constantly thought about him, that night I ended up crying myself to sleep. The morning after I woke up feeling ike rubbish, it felt like someone had been playing drums on my forehead so I decided to sleep in a little longer, but then my Mum ended up coming to wake me up by telling me that Daniel had tried ringing the home phone the night before and had left several messages, I told her to delete them, I wanted to ignore him to give him the same kind of treatment he was giving me. That following afternoon, once I’d finally decided to get out of bed I went downstairs to find Daniel’s parents and my parents sitting at the dining room table. His parents where there but Daniel wasn’t, what was going on?
I realised they had stopped talking as I had stepped into the room, I didn’t speak to them, I just looked at them and looked away, confused as to what was going on. As I started to walk up the stairs I could hear someone crying, it was either my mum or Daniel’s, as my dad doesn’t cry and I’m pretty sure neither does Daniel’s as he’s your average ‘macho man’. I decided to wait at the top of the stairs where they couldn’t see me but I could hear them. I wanted to know why they were all sitting around my table and why someone was crying. Little did I know that the reason would make my world come crashing down.
I knew what had happened the moment my mum had said, ‘’we all warned him about that bike. ’’ Something had happened to Daniel, I knew it, he was an idiot when he was on his motorbike, everyone had warned him what could happen to him if he wasn’t careful. After I heard what my mum had said, I went downstairs and even mine and Daniel’s dads were crying, this got me worried as I still didn’t know what had happened to Daniel or even if it was to do with Daniel, as he had an older brother who also drove stupidly on his motorbike as well, all I knew was it was about someone on a bike.
As I got closer to the bottom of the stairs, the room went quiet again, nobody said a word. It wasn’t until I asked what had happened that my mum came over and hugged me, that was all well and good because my mum never hugs me but it still didn’t answer my question. I pushed my mum off of me and asked her again ‘’what’s happened? ’’ she still didn’t say anything so I started shouting at her because I was so angry that she wasn’t telling me, I kept asking her again and again until we were both in tears. And that’s when she old me. ‘’It’s Daniel’’ she said. ‘’He’s been in an accident’’ I fell to the floor, I hadn’t spoken to him, I’ve been ignoring him, what have I done?! ‘’Is he hurt? What kind of accident? ’’ I asked her. She looked up at me through the tears in her eyes and I knew just from the look she gave me that it was more than a broken bone. He was dead. After Daniel’s death I didn’t leave my room for about a week, I didn’t want to face the world, I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts.
But all I could think about was ‘what if? ’ What if I hadn’t ignored him? What if we weren’t arguing, would he have been at mine that night? I went on my laptop about a week after, I didn’t look at my phone or my laptop because I didn’t want any sympathy comments as I knew it would only make me feel worse, but that night I just wanted to see what people had put on his Facebook wall, the moment I logged onto my account, I had thousands of notifications. I switched my laptop straight off; I knew I shouldn’t have gone on in the first place.
The next day was his funeral, I didn’t think I would be able to cope, but I knew I would have lots of people there to support me, but I knew it would be harder for his family than it would be for me, I knew I was being selfish. Hundreds of people turned up to his funeral, it just proved how many people loved him, it made me feel a little bit warmer inside. His parents had decided to make people wear bright colours to his funeral as Daniel wouldn’t want people to be dressed in dull black and he wouldn’t want people crying over him, so they had a party at their house after to celebrate his life not to mourn his death.
It was beautiful, just like him. They say time heals all wounds, and it does, as the months went by I was gradually starting to cope with the loss of Daniel, obviously I still missed him every single day but it was just getting easier to cope with it. I spent a lot of time with his parents and his brother as they needed support more than anyone else, we done everything that Daniel had wanted to do before his 21st birthday, it took us a while but we did it, he would be proud of us, the stuff we had to endure for him!
But we had a laugh and remembered Daniel throughout it all. I visited his grave every week to keep him updated on everything that was going on with his family and with me, it kept me strong. I also started a support group for families who have had family members die or who have been injured because of a road accident, it was a way to help others whilst keeping Daniels memory alive. The truth is that anything can happen and there is nothing we can do about it, except to find something that can help you deal with the situation, even if it takes you a while to find it.