However, It is very important that we
However, most of theconversation around active fathering is lopsided. There is a wealth of studies,articles, and reports about why boys need to have their fathers in their lives,but seldom do we see information that reflects the significant role an activefather plays in shaping, developing, encouraging, and building confidence intheir daughter(s).Being a single father ofboth sons and daughters, I have learned that their immediate needs; althoughvery similar are very different, excluding those commonly shared needs of feelingloved, secured, acknowledged, and bonded with their father. I can attest to theunbreakable bond that my daughters and I have developed through the years; a bondthat was built on trust, dedication, and sacrifice. A bond that was not given butearned.
It is very important thatwe as fathers come to understand the true impact of our involvement. We must notassuming that they only want to feel like princesses or only wants attentionfrom mommy. Countless fathers fail to realize orunderstand the power of their influence over their daughter(s). So, let me helptake the guess work out of the subject matter – SHE NEEDS YOU IN HER LIFE! Overtime she will absorb the influence and encouragement that you have bestowed onher and eventually empower others with the life tools and knowledge that dad equippedher with throughout the years.-photo 1- Have you everwatched the Discovery Channel or National Geographic depicts how a mother bearprotects her cub? Despite imminent danger she is willing to go to war with anyforth coming threat in a loving effort to protect her offspring. It’s instinctual,the thoughts must be “this is mine and I’m going to protect it at all cost.” Sheinstills in them confidence, teaches them to become self-sufficient and thenwhen the time is right; she sends them out to fend for themselves and startfamilies of their own.
Fathers when can know longer leave this life long journeyto the mothers of our children to go at it alone. Times aredifferent nowadays; the world has distinctly changed and with the continuous advancementof technology the way our kids interact, and think is no longer the same. Thepressures of fitting in and the new-found dangers of interacting online opensour daughters up to a new set of threats that you and I might not have beenexposed to. With the uncertainties of a person identity and/or intentions: theworld is just not the same: socially, justly, and/or morally. It has become amore dangerous place.
Therefore, we cannot leave our daughters to chance – by thinkingthey should navigate through life without us.I have learned that we arethe architects of our child’s life and should impart on them a vision, adirection, and a solid foundation to stand on. Girls need that. Every day, mygirls lean on me for guidance. They look forward to interacting and engagingwith their father. Sometimes they just want to talk, others they just want meto sit with them or simply take them along while I run my errands.
They want tobe around their father and have in their own way expressed their NEED to bearound their father. They want to talk about everything from sports (they playbasketball and cheer) and career goals (one wants to be a marketer, one ascientist and one a cosmetologist or biologist) to cool movies (they loveaction and super hero movies) and what they’ve learned in church or studied inhistory (they are very inquisitive). As my girls excel academically,athletically, and develop spiritually and emotionally, they are learning tothink freely and aspire to reach levels and careers that are notstereotypically catered to their genders.-photo 2-I personally believe that weare to train up a child in the way that they should go.
We are responsible fordeveloping them as a whole child. It is not our job to guess what they like orneed, but it is our job to interact with them so we can understand and meettheir needs.The Institute for FamilyStudies gives us three key takeaways that shed light on the true benefits ofactive fathering – it literally is life-changing. The Institute reveals that afathers love and engagement can help prevent our daughters from making poorchoices often related to low-self esteem, not feeling loved, and not having apositive male figure in their lives:1. A female child that haves a safe, caring, forthcoming connectionwith her dad is not as probable to become pregnant as a teen and is not aslikely to engage in sexual activities in her early years.
2. Daughters who have fathers who are highly engaged intheir lives from childhood and beyond often become more assertive andself-reliant, this helps them not only succeed academically and athletically,but also makes them more apt to graduate college, and pursue a demanding careerwith higher pay and responsibilities.3. Well-fathered daughters are not as likely to battlewith depression, self-doubt, eating disorders, and other related mental healthissue as a result of the confidence a father can instill in them. The benefits ofdaughters having an active father in their lives are immeasurable and are veryrewarding, and I hope this article helps others see past the myths that are outtheir about what daughters need from their fathers and how important adaddy-daughter relationship is. There are oftenchallenges men face when approaching raising their daughters so as you begin,continue or restart this journey remember to be emotionally connected, not beover protective and ask for help (especially from females who you know can giveyou insight into your daughter’s needs).
These three aspects are key to asuccessful relationship with your daughter(s) and will help them closeemotional gaps, prevent rebellion and feeling unwanted, as well as make youmore confident as a father.