How Men Become Men Essay
How men become men? How men are men by being aggressive? Michael Kimmel in “Welcome to Guyland”& “Bros before Hos: the Guy Code” explains to us how men go through a social process by which men become “men”. Kimmel exposes some of the male myths in which society tries to establish ‘how a man has to be’. Kimmel makes a list of ten norms that the society or other men think that a man has to follow to become a real man, these norms are called “Guy Code”. Those norms defined as machismo are connected to Franco La Cecla’s “Rough Manners: How Men are Made.
Both Kimmel and La Cecla have the same perspective of what society thinks a man should be. I reject the “Guy Code” because being a man does not necessarily means to be aggressive or not being able to express your feelings because you look weak; on the contrary expressing your feelings and being yourself takes a lot of courage. To be a man is to be tough and to show no fear, this is what most fathers teach their sons. This has been going on for decades; men are supposedly the strong ones, the ones that have the authority. According to “Bros Before Hos”: The Guy Code by Michael Kimmel not only occurs in home but is everywhere.It mostly starts in high school when kids are starting to become men and women, Michael talks about a “Guy Code” which are the values, qualities, and the attitude that defines a man.
I find it true that men focus more into physical attributes and that women look on the emotional. If men see that another man is not as masculine as they are, they start name calling them just because they don’t act as tough as them. Also when girls see that guy talking to them normally and don’t try showing some interest in them, they think that he is gay.To say that they are weak not necessarily that they like other men. Another thing that caught my attention was men don’t act tough just to impress women; they act like this because they want to be well evaluated my other men.
I believe that it’s worse for a man to fit in because guys just try to see who is better than the other one that’s why a lot of guys try to join gangs just to prove each to other how tough they are. That’s why men become depressed and violent because they try so hard in proving themselves, then everything goes wrong and they can’t control the situation.Kimmel also mentions the “Gender Police” in Bros Before Hos”: The Guy Code. The Gender Police are people who are always watching and judging to see if a guy does anything to damage his manhood. However, it’s not just men who are judging other men on their masculinity, many women judge men based on the values of Guy Code as well.
While some women actually do look for a sensitive guy who is not afraid to share his feelings and is not aggressive, many women search for “Manly Men. ” “Manly Men” are the type of guys that little girls are made to desire from the time they watch their first Disney movie.They’re strong, fighting off dragons, dependable, always arriving just in time, and always have a good (and usually very muscular) shoulder for their princess to cry on. Women looking for “Manly Men” want someone who will take charge and provide for them.
By proving their male power, making them behave inappropriately, they become what La Cecla defines as ‘macho’. Macho is a man who acts tough and aggressive so he can be seen in the society and not be invisible, because being invisible makes you weak not a ‘macho’.