Iycee Charles de Gaulle Summary Help promote a relationship Essay

Help promote a relationship Essay

Education: Active Listening ; Coping With Students Essay, Research Paper

Education, SPECIAL TOPICS: Header WITH STUDENT PROBLEMS IN THE CLASSROOM: Dealing IN DISCIPLINE THOMAS GORDON ACTIVE LISTENING THOMAS GORDON ACTIVE LISTENING Thomas Gordon feels that one the most effectual ways of reacting tochildren s feeling or job messages is the invitation to state more or as he callsit, the door opener. This type of response invites the kid to portion his ain feelingsor thoughts. The of import thing is that the hearer does non pass on any of his ownjudgments or feelings. When the hearer refrains from inquiring inquiries, giving advice, learning or moralization, the pupil feels encouraged to get down and go on talking.Gordon feels that this is because this technique conveys credence and esteem forthe pupil by formalizing his right to show his feelings. Equally successful as this technique is, there is another which has been shown to beeven more effectual. This is the technique of active hearing. In active hearing, boththe transmitter and the receiving system of messages are involved. In this method, the door ofcommunication is non simply opened, but participants learn how to maintain it unfastened. Gordon says that in order to larn how to listen actively, the instructor or parentmust understand more about the communicating procedure. He says that when a childdecides to pass on with a parent or instructor, it is because he has a demand. Thechild s being is in a province of disequilibrium because there is something traveling oninside him. He wants, or needs something.

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In order to convey the being back to a province of equilibrium the kid begins totalk. Gordon gives the illustration of hungriness. When a kid is hungry, he mustcommunicate his hunge

r to someone else. He selects a signal he thinks represents hishunger to the other person. The child picks a code (encoding process) and perhapssays, When is dinner ready, mom? The mother might decode the message accurately and understand that the child is hungry. However, she might decode themessage inaccurately and communication might break down. In active listening, the mother could check on the accuracy of her decoding bytelling the child her thoughts. Once the child hears the mother s feedback, he is able to tell her mother that shedecoded wrong. As communication continues, the mother will have a trueunderstanding of his message. An example of a correctly decoded message given by Gordon is:- Child : Guess what Dad? I made the basketball team.-Parent: You re really feeling great about that.-Child: Am I?When this happens the child verifies the accuracy of the parents decoding by anexpression that shows that the parent understood. In active listening the receiver tries to understand what the sender is feeling. Heputs the understanding in his own words and sends it back for the sender s verification.The receiver does not put a value judgment or give an opinion about the message. He tries to feed back the sender s own message. The technique of active listening is not always easy for teachers and parents toadopt, because they are used to questioning, judging and preaching. However, theresults of this method of communication are often quick and dramatic. Active listeninghelps children become less afraid of negative feelings because they see that thelistener accepts those feelings. Active listening can also help promote a relationship ofwarmth between a child and his parent or teacher and this can open the lines ofcommunication even more.