Conflict Management Essay Research Paper Conflict Management
Conflict Management Essay, Research PaperConflict ManagementThe instance that is being analyzed is about the power issues between Lenore and Caroline. This paper will measure the power relationship between the two and explicate in great item the power equilibrating schemes that can be used. Besides included in this paper, will be the Wilmot- Hocker appraisal usher.
The Wilmot Hocker Assessment Guide will be the basic foundation for this paper. This assignment will explicate the ends of each person and the messages they use to accomplish them. This instance survey will include illustrations from the conversation in order to endorse up certain thoughts.Before Lenore and Caroline engage in struggle, Lenore felt she was being shunned from the household. This feeling of being shunned, resulted in Lenore holding a hostile attitude toward Caroline and her household. Even though Lenore feels neglected, she will merely province a few of the grounds why she Feels a non-person in Caroline s life and her child s.
The ground why she will non prosecute to the full into struggle is she afraid of struggle. She views confrontation in a negative manner. If she did non perceive struggle in a negative position, she would so be more direct on how she feels. When Caroline begins to support herself and her household, Lenore immediately backs off and pretends to bury what she had antecedently stated. Lenore is denying that something was communicated because she is seeking to disregard the being of power ( Interpersonal Conflict p. 87 ) .
Caroline is the exact antonym of Lenore. Although Caroline does non originate the struggle, she does non endorse down from struggle. It is obvious that Caroline is non afraid of struggle. Since the relationship between her female parent and her is of import, she wants to understand why her female parent feels the manner she does.
Caroline realizes in order to make so, a struggle between thoughts will happen. She understands if the struggle is handled right, the relationship will bit by bit go stronger with her female parent. Both of their thoughts about how a household should be raised will convey out into the unfastened in a struggle.After reading over the instance, it was evident that both Lenore and Caroline use metaphoric images when they are pass oning to each other. Lenore provinces that parent s are the best function theoretical accounts for kids. If you re non traveling to supply that theoretical account for them, who is? Caroline responds by stating, I can non purchase what you are stating. Although this type of metaphoric image is non mentioned in the book, one must presume that this is an illustration of struggle as a merchandise.
By stating I can non purchase what you are stating, Caroline is saying the metaphoric message that struggle is a merchandise and can be bought if it is at the right monetary value.When Lenore told Caroline that she is heading into reasonably stormy Waterss, Lenore is utilizing what is considered to be a negative metaphor. Stormy Waterss can be highly destructive by being insistent, powerful, and ineluctable. The book would compare Lenore s statement as being Conflict is a Tide. Both Lenore and Caroline do non utilize metaphoric images in a positive manner. If both parties realized those metaphors can project a negative tone, it would restrict the possibility for productive struggle direction. Neither party would hold used the metaphors.
Lenore is a senior citizen, which would do her over sixty-years of age. Taking her age and the manner she communicates into consideration, one can presume that she is a conservative and an old manner type of lady. She demands that Caroline and her kids show her regard because of her age. It is even mentioned in the instance, that Lenore would drop everything when her parents came to see her.
Caroline is thirty- old ages old, and it is obvious that she is more broad so Lenore. Caroline can understand her girl s actions a batch clearer so can Lenore. The difference in coevalss is one of the chief ingredients of the struggle. The older coevals of people can non accommodate to the alteration in households. For illustration, people in Lenore s clip were non so busy with Car pools, tennis games, and trips that we re truly non important to any portion of your life manner. This coevals of households is on a batch more feverish agenda.
Lenore and many other people from her coevals, have a difficult clip accommodating to the fast gait life many households endure.Lenore must understand and accept that Caroline s rearing manner suits the life style of the household. Lenore s rearing manner may hold worked in the 1950ss, but it will non work in the 1890ss. Until Lenore accepts this fact, there will ever be a struggle between them.The event that triggers the struggle, is when Caroline s girl tallies right past Lenore and does non state hullo. Lenore interprets that the child is spoiled, and that Caroline has failed at raising her kids right. This is the event that brought the struggle into common consciousness. Since Lenore is Caroline s female parent, she undisputedly believes she knows what is best for Caroline s household.
This first event lead s into a destructive spiral of more of Lenore s jobs with Caroline and her household. One of the other jobs in the yesteryear that upsets her, is that she wants to experience a portion of their lives. It seems that if Lenore is non the centre of attending, so there must be something incorrect.Caroline believes that there is nil incorrect with her household.
Lenore is overreacting and she should merely allow her be her ain individual. However, Lenore feels that there is a crisis in the household. She gets even more disquieted and angry, when Caroline refuses to hold with her that there is a job in the household. Because Caroline will non hold with Lenore, it adds fuel to the fire.
Caroline will listen to her female parent because it is her female parent, but that does non intend she will hold or alter her tactics. Caroline expresses the battle in a rational province of head. She does non disregard her female parent ; alternatively, she communicates the message she understands her female parent has a job. The female parent expresses the battle in an over-reacting and unrational province. It is overpowering to her that her girl will non conform to what she says. She interprets this as being a mark of discourtesy.In order to understand what the incompatible ends are, we must understand what the relational ends of each party are. First of all, Lenore wants her grandchildren to snog and embrace her every clip they see her.
She besides wants her girl to demo her much more regard. On the other manus, Caroline wants her female parent to recognize that her grandchildren still love and esteem her, even though they do non snog and embrace her every clip they see her. Since Caroline wants one thing and Lenore wants another, this leads into incompatible ends. Both Caroline and Lenore want different things and this causes a battle over ends.The ground why there is a battle over ends is because clip is a scarce resource. The instance survey would connote that Caroline s girl lives a busy life. She has restraints on her clip to play with her friends.
When she is non playing tennis or traveling to school, she wants to pass her clip with her friends. This is a normal response for kids her age. The grandma does non understand the clip restraints on Tara. The granddaughter would instead pass some clip with her friends and have fun, so sit around and listen to out-of-date theories of Dr. Spock. If both Lenore and Caroline were to prosecute over what ends are of import to them, there would be less of a job.
The state of affairs does non hold to be Grandma versus the household.This peculiar instance survey lacks end lucidity. Lenore lone discovers her ends during the class of the struggle. She merely began to prosecute in struggle, when Tara ran past her and ignored her.
Before this incident, she did non hold a programon how to go a bigger influence in the household. If Lenore truly wanted to better the relationship with the household, she would non hold been so individualistic. She could hold taken history for the household s needs every bit good as hers. Lenore could hold mentioned that she thought her cognition on raising households could profit Caroline and would besides assist Lenore experience a portion of the household.
Throughout the struggle, Caroline was supporting herself and her household. Therefore, she used a batch of self-oriented tactics. She became really defensive when Lenore said that she was non interested in their advice or in their determinations. She was forced to support herself and her household. By being defensive, it limited her to merely being able to react back. She was unable to do clear precisely what she wanted from her female parent.
Although the prospective end was non mentioned, it was obvious that Lenore was upset with the behaviour of Tara and Caroline. Lenore stated that her hubby and her feel like their a non-person in your life and your childs life. Lenore s first end would be an illustration of a relational end. Lenore wanted her grandchildren and her ain girl to handle her with regard. The struggle was about who Lenore and Caroline are to each other. If Lenore is Caroline s female parent, she should handle her like a female parent.
However, Caroline feels Lenore should halt stating her what is best for her and her household. This is besides an illustration of a relational end. Since Caroline and Lenore have opposing positions on their relationship, a struggle developed.The transactive ends that developed in this struggle happened while the struggle was taking topographic point.
Caroline was non cognizant of how her female parent felt about their relationship. Even though this struggle took topographic point, Caroline still does non cognize how the female parent feels about the relationship. In the beginning phases of the struggle, Caroline s end was to explicate why her girl did non state hullo. That was a relational end. After Caroline realized that her female parent was upset about how Caroline is raising her kids, the end drastically changed from being a relational end to an individuality end. Who is Caroline to her female parent? When Caroline said, Just because you re my female parent does non intend that we have to believe precisely the same, it showed Caroline was seeking to clear up their relationship.During the struggle, Caroline was seeking to salvage face. In order to make so, she had to lodge up to her female parent.
Her female parent, nevertheless, wanted to still hold control of Caroline and the manner she raised her household. When a valid point was made, her female parent would happen a manner to alter it around. For illustration, when Caroline said, You brought me up to understand that I am my ain individual, her female parent responded by stating, I hope I threw in some preparation Sessionss on esteeming other people s authorization.
Lenore was impeaching Caroline of being a hapless female parent and holding a hapless girl. Lenore could non accept that her girl could do good determinations, without her aid.Since it is non known what precisely the retrospective end is, one must presume that Caroline realized she should hold handled the struggle otherwise. If the ends in the beginning were clarified, there would non hold been such a difference. Neither party specialized in any type of end.
By the terminal of the struggle, both parties still did non cognize what the other party wanted.The power issue between Lenore and Caroline is non discussed. Lenore, who has less power so Caroline, is seeking to take away Caroline s power. Lenore uses an either/or attack. Caroline is seeking to travel Lenore against her will. What this means is she is seeking to coerce Lenore to make what she says. If Lenore says that Caroline is non raising her household right, she better alteration something.
Caroline and Lenore are in a struggle over who should hold power in the relationship. The female parent believes that she knows best on how to raise kids and Caroline should listen to her. Gallic and Raven would depict this beginning of power as expertness.
Since Lenore is the female parent of Caroline, she believes she has the wisdom, cognition, and expertness on how a household should run. Caroline refuses to accept her female parent s sentiment and that leads into a battle over power. When Caroline was younger, her female parent was able to penalize ( coercion ) her when she did non like her behaviour. Now that she is older her female parent is unable to make that and it causes Lenore to be less powerful.
Her female parent can merely verbally attack Caroline, and that is precisely what she does.A currency that Caroline did non recognize she had was her interpersonal linkage. She serves as the span between Lenore and Tara. Lenore would non cognize how Tara felt if it was non for Caroline. If Caroline choose non to state Tara how Lenore felt, there is nil Lenore could make about it. This would do Lenore even have less power.Lenore and Caroline have a power instability.
Lenore s end is to endeavor for higher power. She even references if she was the female parent, the kids would non be moving this manner. Lenore communicates to Caroline in what is called competitory symmetricalness. This means that she uses a perennial form of one-ups. An illustration of this would be when Lenore said, This your female parent speaking. Lenore attempted to hold Caroline be submissive and to hold with her by pass oning with one-downs. Alternatively, Caroline attempted to pass on in what is called a complementary form.
She would state, Your are writhing this all around to do me see your point of position. So what if we disagree with minor things. She was utilizing a one-up form at first by stating how she genuinely felt, but she so utilize a one-down form when she explained her logical thinking and she hoped her female parent would hold.The type of manner that Lenore uses is called competitory.
She is extremely concerned for her ain demands and she truly does non hold a high concern for others. For illustration she says, We merely hold begun to recognize that we are traveling to get down looking out for our ain needs-alone. This statement is connoting that her demands must be meet first and foremost.What makes this instance interesting, is that Lenore besides uses an turning away technique throughout the statement. When Lenore said, Nonsense! I ve ne’er of all time told you what to make or when to make it. This comment indicates that Lenore decided that she would avoid go oning in the statement.
She is utilizing what is called a nonconsensual turning away. She is disregarding everything that Caroline has to state.Caroline uses a collaborative manner when she communicates with her female parent. She has a high concern for her demands, but she besides has a high concern for her female parent s demands. The job is her female parent and her can non clear up what they want. So it makes it impossible for Caroline to happen an integrative solution that will fulfill them both.
What consequences from this is a symmetrical attack-attack forms, were they are seeking to one-up each other.Caroline, Lenore, and Tara are involved in what is known as a toxic trigon. Tara and Lenore are at the top corners, while the grandma is at the bottom corner. The consequences from a toxic trigon can be lay waste toing to the relationship.
If the grandma would accept Tara retreating from the trigon, it would give Lenore and Caroline clip to discourse their current relationship. The focal point would non be about Tara, but alternatively them. This one to one communicating could ensue in the two collaborating.All and all, both parties need to recognize in order to carry through their ends, they need to cognize precisely what their ends are. Lenore uses the turning away and competitory manner, while Caroline uses the competitory and coaction manner. They will merely farther damage the relationship if they keep viing with each other over who has power.